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Where are the real relationships?

In today’s internet-driven connection economy, there are two types of  relationships we tend to make.    Real relationships and drive-by ones.

The obvious choice for every single one of us is real relationships. But the irony is that most of us don’t act that way.

We send out our requests to our friends at the last second. We rely on the internet and text messaging to rather than calling or meeting in person. And we divide our time more than ever before leaving people who we went out of their way for us wondering if we even care.

But along the way, I’ve learned that there is also a lot of value in fewer but better friends.  At some point in business school, a lot of of us did.  And so many of us eventually asked ourselves, where are the real relationships?

We learned that you don’t all-of-a-sudden form real relationships after a night out on the town or just because you live in the same neighborhood.  Instead you make them through a series of personal interactions. By spending more time with them to hear their personal story.  By picking up the phone and calling rather than relying on a text or email.   By showing thoughtfulness and generosity, especially in times where they would have never expected it. And by being there for someone when they need your support.

One of the easiest things to do is to form drive-by relationships with people who you’ll keep at a distance.  But one of the hardest things to do is find real relationships with people that matter.

Real relationships are really hard, but they are worth spending more time on.